Saturday, September 13, 2014

hitting the three month mark

I’ve tried to quit drinking for over a year now.

And today I have made it 3 months drink-free.  No beer, no liquor, no wine—nothin’!  And it feels good.

This was a personal choice.  What I mean by that is this was a decision I made for myself based on my own convictions.  So before anyone feels judged or condemned or like they can’t talk to me anymore, please know this is not a post telling you why YOU should stop drinking.  This is a post about ME, not drinking, and what that’s been like.

Now that we have that out of the way, I can guess you’re wondering why.  I stopped for many reasons.  Family is the first.  When your family line has been plagued with tragedies all stemming from alcohol, when you see and experience the damage of it, it’s foolish, I think, to turn a blind eye.  Like everything, it’s better to run from temptation than to even toy with the possibility.  For me, the threat alcohol poses outweighed the “merriment” of it.

Jesus is another reason.  Do I sound like I’m a Southern Baptist? As Christians, we are supposed to look different from the world.  Even from personal experience, before I stopped drinking, if I was in a bar or social event, I noticed the person who didn’t have a martini in hand.

The third is simple enough.  It’s me feeling safe in my own skin.  I don’t miss the feeling after a few drinks.  I don’t miss drunk-Jamie, tipsy-Jamie, buzzed-Jamie—I like sober-Jamie.  I like who I am.  I don’t miss feeling like I have to drink to “loosen up” or “wind down.”  I like that I can do those things without the aid of alcohol.  I guess I’m saying I don’t miss being dependent on it, using it to change my mood or numb me.

I don’t want to insult anyone who has actually dealt with true alcoholism by relating this in such a way I compare my struggles to theirs.  I was a social drinker.  I drank at restaurants with friends, wine after a long day of work, and a beer at a barbecue on a hot summer’s day.  This makes me realize how hard recovering alcoholics have it, because alcohol is everywhere.  That’s why it’s taken me over a year to quit, because it’s so readily available.  There’s not a lot of support out there in the world.

To summarize my thoughts:

·   I don’t miss dropping guap on alcohol.  Now that money is used elsewhere.
·   I don’t miss the hangovers (or even joking around about hangovers—blah).  It’s not beautiful to be hungover.
·   I don’t miss the fear of being pulled over on the way home.  Even being a .01 over can get you arrested.
·   I don’t miss the fear of hurting someone while driving home.  Let’s face it, even if you drink “responsibly,” you are still under the influence and not driving at full capacity.
·   I don’t miss not having 100% control over what I say and what I do.

·   I do like not having a drink in my hand just for the sake of having a drink in my hand.
·   I do like not having to worry about what pictures are posted on Facebook.
·   I do like honoring those who have dealt with alcoholism by not smelling like it around them.
·   I will like being able to lead my future children by example instead of saying do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do.
·   I like being able to eat my calories in the form of a delicious meal rather than spending those calories on a drink.  Super superficial, I know, but nonetheless true.

Three months today—whoop whoop!  This was the right decision for me.  I used alcohol to numb, as a supplement for the empty spots, to blend in with my peers—and those reasons simply weren’t enough to keep me drinking.  They didn’t outweigh the pros of hanging up my shot glass for good.  I thank those who encouraged me along the way—those who have led by example: a friend who just posted his year-mark of being alcohol free; a coworker who does not drink; and a family that made the same decision long ago.  Thank you to you all for leading by example and helping me make the decision.

Now you know.  Now you know I don’t drink.  Now you know the reasons.  If there’s anyone out there reading this that feels a tug to give it up, too, just know that you are not alone.  It may seem like it in a society so soaked in alcohol, but you’re not.  Maybe we can go grab some calories (frozen custard calories are pretty good) sometime and talk about it while savoring some yumminess along the way.