And today I have made it 3 months drink-free. No beer, no liquor, no wine—nothin’! And it feels good.
This was a personal choice. What I mean by that is this was a decision I
made for myself based on my
own convictions. So before anyone
feels judged or condemned or like they can’t talk to me anymore, please know
this is not a post telling you why YOU should stop drinking. This is a post about ME, not drinking, and
what that’s been like.
Now that we have that out of the way, I can guess you’re
wondering why. I stopped for many
reasons. Family is the first. When your family line has been plagued with
tragedies all stemming from alcohol, when you see and experience the damage of
it, it’s foolish, I think, to turn a blind eye. Like everything, it’s better to run from
temptation than to even toy with the possibility. For me, the threat alcohol poses outweighed
the “merriment” of it.
Jesus is another reason.
Do I sound like I’m a Southern
Baptist? As Christians, we are supposed to look different from the
world. Even from personal
experience, before I stopped drinking, if I was in a bar or social event, I
noticed the person who didn’t have a martini in hand.
The third is simple enough. It’s me feeling safe in my own skin. I don’t miss the feeling after a few
drinks. I don’t miss drunk-Jamie, tipsy-Jamie,
buzzed-Jamie—I like sober-Jamie. I like
who I am. I don’t miss feeling like I
have to drink to “loosen up” or “wind down.”
I like that I can do those things without the aid of alcohol. I guess I’m saying I don’t miss being
dependent on it, using it to change my mood or numb me.
I don’t want to insult anyone who has actually dealt with
true alcoholism by relating this in such a way I compare my struggles to
theirs. I was a social drinker. I drank at restaurants with friends, wine
after a long day of work, and a beer at a barbecue on a hot summer’s day. This makes me realize how hard recovering alcoholics
have it, because alcohol is everywhere.
That’s why it’s taken me over a year to quit, because it’s so readily
available. There’s not a lot of support
out there in the world.
To summarize my thoughts:
·
I don’t miss dropping guap on alcohol. Now that money is used elsewhere.
·
I don’t miss the hangovers (or even joking
around about hangovers—blah). It’s not
beautiful to be hungover.
·
I don’t miss the fear of being
pulled over on the way home. Even being
a .01 over can get you arrested.
·
I don’t miss the fear of hurting someone while driving
home. Let’s face it, even if you drink “responsibly,”
you are still under
the influence and not driving at full capacity.
·
I don’t miss not having 100% control over what I
say and what I do.
·
I do like not having a drink in my hand just for
the sake of having a drink in my hand.
·
I do like not having to worry about what
pictures are posted on Facebook.
·
I do like honoring those who have dealt with alcoholism
by not smelling like it around them.
·
I will like being able to lead my future children
by example instead of saying do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do.
·
I like being able to eat my calories in the form
of a delicious meal rather than spending those calories on a drink. Super superficial, I know, but nonetheless
true.
Three months today—whoop whoop! This was the right decision for me. I used alcohol to numb, as a supplement for
the empty spots, to blend in with my peers—and those reasons simply weren’t
enough to keep me drinking. They didn’t
outweigh the pros of hanging up my shot glass for good. I thank those who encouraged me along the way—those
who have led by example: a friend who just posted his year-mark of being
alcohol free; a coworker who does not drink; and a family that made the same
decision long ago. Thank you to you all
for leading by example and helping me make the decision.
Now you know. Now
you know I don’t drink. Now you know the
reasons. If there’s anyone out there
reading this that feels a tug to give it up, too, just know that you are not
alone. It may seem like it in a society
so soaked in alcohol, but you’re not.
Maybe we can go grab some calories (frozen custard calories are pretty
good) sometime and talk about it while savoring some yumminess along the way.
