2014 Recap

Is anyone else in denial that this year is already coming to a close?  I mean, really.

Welcome to our virtual 2014 Christmas card!  If you’re here, welcome, friend.  I hope your year has been just as full as ours has been.

To recap the roller coaster 2014 was, I guess the biggest news is that in June, Trace and I got married!  I'm a Mrs. now to a really sweet, funny, smart man.  We're 6 months in and some of the things I love about Trace include how responsible he is, that he loves to cook, how much he loves board games, wasps send him running in terror, and that he makes me laugh A LOT.  God really hit this one out of the park for me.  Trace is my constant reminder that if I wait on God's will instead of trying to take control, amazing things happen.

Our honeymoon was spent in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  If you live in Tennessee and you’ve never been, it’s is definitely worth the visit.  We went to Dollywood, which was more fun than I expected.  That's a fun memory for us, not just because the park was amazing, but also because we can say we were steps away from Katy Perry and her posse.  I also learned pumpkin butter is amazing!  My favorite memory is the Friendly Falls Food & Stuff, a place to grab some grub while overlooking some beautiful scenery. (And that's a Diet Coke can, NOT beer, just in case you're wondering!)

I was also baptized this year and it couldn’t have been more special.  Trace was in the water with me at the time.  And two of my best friends were also baptized that day!  My parents and brother were also there, too!  I can't explain what it felt like to have my family there, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment or the amount of joy and appreciation for salvation that I felt.

After the wedding, I moved into Trace's one bedroom apartment.  We had been praying and praying for God to provide a house before our lease expired.  After viewing several houses on Zillow and taking several tours of houses that were not what we wanted, we finally found one we loved.  It was apparently the one God wanted for us, because a couple weeks later we were moving in.  We’ve mostly unpacked everything, but still have a few boxes to go.  We’re so thankful to God for His provision.

As for our furry children, Cheeyo and Paris turned 7 this year.  It feels like just yesterday I was bringing Cheeyo home from the flea market and cuddling a tiny Paris in my lap.  To show their age this year, Paris's face has gone from black to salt-and-pepper and Cheeyo is getting old-man lumps on him.

Both Trace and I received promotions this year.  Glory be to God for these.  PS, I really love where I work.  PPS, I really do love Memphis.

Trace is the drummer in Strange Wave Connection, and they've had a lot of shows this year.  I can't wait to see what 2015 has in store for them.  You can listen to their awesome music here.

Also noteworthy, I really began getting into tea this year, trying all different kinds.  Pictured is my bucket o' tea!

We’re still at Fellowship (for the most part).

There have been a few (expensive) mechanical bumps in the road, but for now we still have the Pontiac Grand Prix and Honda CRV.

So there is our 2014 year-end wrap-up.  It's been a busy year with its share of ups and downs, but we made it through with so much to rejoice over.  We pray that you've enjoyed your last year and that we'll meet you in 2015!  Here's to bringing in another year, full of new experiences, old and new loves, and joys a-plenty!

hitting the three month mark

I’ve tried to quit drinking for over a year now.

And today I have made it 3 months drink-free.  No beer, no liquor, no wine—nothin’!  And it feels good.

This was a personal choice.  What I mean by that is this was a decision I made for myself based on my own convictions.  So before anyone feels judged or condemned or like they can’t talk to me anymore, please know this is not a post telling you why YOU should stop drinking.  This is a post about ME, not drinking, and what that’s been like.

Now that we have that out of the way, I can guess you’re wondering why.  I stopped for many reasons.  Family is the first.  When your family line has been plagued with tragedies all stemming from alcohol, when you see and experience the damage of it, it’s foolish, I think, to turn a blind eye.  Like everything, it’s better to run from temptation than to even toy with the possibility.  For me, the threat alcohol poses outweighed the “merriment” of it.

Jesus is another reason.  Do I sound like I’m a Southern Baptist? As Christians, we are supposed to look different from the world.  Even from personal experience, before I stopped drinking, if I was in a bar or social event, I noticed the person who didn’t have a martini in hand.

The third is simple enough.  It’s me feeling safe in my own skin.  I don’t miss the feeling after a few drinks.  I don’t miss drunk-Jamie, tipsy-Jamie, buzzed-Jamie—I like sober-Jamie.  I like who I am.  I don’t miss feeling like I have to drink to “loosen up” or “wind down.”  I like that I can do those things without the aid of alcohol.  I guess I’m saying I don’t miss being dependent on it, using it to change my mood or numb me.

I don’t want to insult anyone who has actually dealt with true alcoholism by relating this in such a way I compare my struggles to theirs.  I was a social drinker.  I drank at restaurants with friends, wine after a long day of work, and a beer at a barbecue on a hot summer’s day.  This makes me realize how hard recovering alcoholics have it, because alcohol is everywhere.  That’s why it’s taken me over a year to quit, because it’s so readily available.  There’s not a lot of support out there in the world.

To summarize my thoughts:

·   I don’t miss dropping guap on alcohol.  Now that money is used elsewhere.

·   I don’t miss the hangovers (or even joking around about hangovers—blah).  It’s not beautiful to be hungover.

·   I don’t miss the fear of being pulled over on the way home.  Even being a .01 over can get you arrested.

·   I don’t miss the fear of hurting someone while driving home.  Let’s face it, even if you drink “responsibly,” you are still under the influence and not driving at full capacity.

·   I don’t miss not having 100% control over what I say and what I do.

·   I do like not having a drink in my hand just for the sake of having a drink in my hand.

·   I do like not having to worry about what pictures are posted on Facebook.

·   I do like honoring those who have dealt with alcoholism by not smelling like it around them.

·   I will like being able to lead my future children by example instead of saying do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do.

·   I like being able to eat my calories in the form of a delicious meal rather than spending those calories on a drink.  Super superficial, I know, but nonetheless true.

Three months today—whoop whoop!  This was the right decision for me.  I used alcohol to numb, as a supplement for the empty spots, to blend in with my peers—and those reasons simply weren’t enough to keep me drinking.  They didn’t outweigh the pros of hanging up my shot glass for good.  I thank those who encouraged me along the way—those who have led by example: a friend who just posted his year-mark of being alcohol free; a coworker who does not drink; and a family that made the same decision long ago.  Thank you to you all for leading by example and helping me make the decision.

Now you know.  Now you know I don’t drink.  Now you know the reasons.  If there’s anyone out there reading this that feels a tug to give it up, too, just know that you are not alone.  It may seem like it in a society so soaked in alcohol, but you’re not.  Maybe we can go grab some calories (frozen custard calories are pretty good) sometime and talk about it while savoring some yumminess along the way.

Spiritual Gifting - A Little Thank You

Last Sunday JB talked about spiritual gifts, and as he was talking I couldn’t help but immediately think about some of my friends and family. 

Below is my list of loved ones I thought of as he listed off spiritual gifts J This is my thank you, recognizing that you using your gifts—and using them well—they have impacted my life! 

P.S. I tried to write out everything JB said about each gift, but we know that man talks fast!  So I included a link to the video and the time he starts talking about that specific gift, if you’d like to see more…

The Gift of Teaching - 16:00 - Divine enablement to understand, clearly explain, and apply the Word of God to the lives of God's people.  Now people with this gift tend to enjoy studying, they tend to enjoy researching, they tend to enjoy understanding, they like taking a bunch of information and sorting through it and synthesizing it and being able to package it and pass it along in a very clear and compelling way.  They tend to personally have a thirst for learning and kind of a passion...they enjoy communicating at times.  Mario—I couldn’t help but think of Mario.  I think back to the early years, being taken under his wing and really being discipled by him as a baby Christian.  This man has an unquenchable thirst for learning and a love of it, too, which really shows in how he teaches those wanting to learn.  He gets excited about teaching!

The Gift of Leadership - 18:23 – Divine enablement to instill vision, to motivate, to align people and resources toward a God inspired vision.  People with this gift of leadership tend to be big pictures thinkers, tend to be vision casters, tend to motivate people, tend to have very low tolerance for the status quo…They are always thinking how something could be better…You’re always thinking about what could be.  Trevor—I couldn’t not think of Trevor as JB talked about being innovative and an entrepreneur with a mind that doesn’t stop racing with new ideas.  I believe Trevor to be an incredible leader.  He has the heart for it, and also the determination for the follow-through on his plans.

The Gift of Discernment – 19:36 – Divine enablement to distinguish truth from error or deception.  People with the gift of discernment have an extraordinary ability or a sixth sense, an ability to see when teaching is wrong or off.  People tend to want to warn others and tell others that things are not quite right, something is off…those with the gift of discernment can make great counselors.  Donna—One of the wisest people I know—which is difficult to admit J—but she’s always right on the money with Biblical knowledge, being able to admonish people in love, and reading people’s true personalities.  And she really is a great counselor.  I have hopes that she’ll pursue that path one day because she is just so wise and personable.

The Gift of Exhortation – 22:34 – A divine enablement to encourage, to be a blessing to individuals…to use words, written, spoken, texts, emails…to encourage the faint-hearted to breathe life into someone who is discouraged, to urge people to action, to have a genuine concern for people and a want for people to be encouraged and feel better about their life or their situation.  Whitney—This girl makes me smile whenever I’m around her.  You can’t help but feel encouraged by her faithful, joy-filled spirit.  She always has a smile on her face and always a kind word to speak.  I love being around her, because no matter how short, the time spent with her is like a recharge.  She is directly connected to The Spirit and is like a fountain He flows out of into others around her.

The Gift of Faith – 25:00 – A divine enablement to trust God’s will and act upon it in a seemingly unwavering belief in God’s ability…they remind us that God is big, strong faithful he is there They remind us that He’ll act on our behalf…they take bold risks for the Kingdom.  Danielle—Talk about follow-through!  If this girl had nothing but her faith, man—she’d be ok!  She’d be better than ok!  Talk about being a faithful follower of Christ…this girl will follow Him to the ends of the earth if she hears his call, and she is!  Whenever I forget how great God is, I look at Danielle and her life and all He’s done and continues to do and am reminded, not only by her words, but by her very life that He’s alive and bigger than we tend to remember.

The Gift of Administration – 26:36 – A divine enablement of executing decisions made by managing time, and people and resources.  It’s an ability to plan and execute procedures…In fact you tend to think in terms of and come most alive once the why questions are answered.  You love tasks, you love to get things done, you love to think it out then act.  Love creating order out of chaos.  My Momma—When something needs to get done, my momma does it!  I’m pretty sure I get my gift of making lists from this woman!  She is on top of everything!

The Gift of Evangelism – 28:32 – A divine enablement to share the gospel clearly, frequently, and compellingly.  Cheri—I mean, have you met my mother-in-love?  She oozes Jesus.  She oozes love.  She’s like a bucket of joy that splashes joy on others, and she can share the love of Jesus at the drop of a dime with anyone, anywhere.

The Gift of Giving – 29:40 – A divine enablement to take time, talent, money and give them in an extraordinary way...an inordinary amount of passion and desire to steward money, not just money, but time.  Savannah—This girl has made me feel so loved at the darkest points in my life.  When I had nothing else to give, she gave.  She gave of herself.  She gave of her money.  She gave of her time, effort, and energy.  She makes people feel loved.  She’s a nurturer and I know she finds joy in it, because she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t.

The Gift of Shepherding – 32:25 – A divine enablement to relate to people in a way that encourages and helps and serves them…to help people, through relationship, transfer truth, wisdom, life skills in a very relational way that helps grown them.  Kimberly—I am where I am today because of this girl.  Spiritually, emotionally, career-ically.  She’s been there, taking me under her wing and guiding me whenever I’ve called on her for help.  Always provides a listening ear, always careful to process everything.  She is so wise, so kind, and so funny, and I love her, and words can’t describe my thankfulness for God putting her in my life to shepherd me.

The Gift of Service – 34:24 – A divine enablement to help, these are the men and women that show up early stay late…lots of behind the scenes.  Lindsay—Whenever I’ve needed someone, anyone—Lindsay has stepped up to plate.  I don’t even have to call her name and she’s there.  She doesn’t ask for recognition, she doesn’t ever have an attitude of entitlement for gratitude, she just serves.  She has a servant’s heart.  And I am amazed at how much she loves me.

For service, I also can’t forgo mentioning my beloved husband.  I am so blessed to be loved by a servant-hearted man who loves me unconditionally.  He goes to the ends of the earth for me without me even asking him to go to the end of the block.  He does a million times more than I ever even have to ask, loving me in such a godly way.  He anticipates needs, he cares for me in a way that no man ever has before and I recognize every piece of effort and love he puts into this marriage and me as his wife.  I’m stunned at his ability to love and so grateful to God for His gift of this man in my life.

At the end of the sermon, JB wraps up by throwing out the question, “Why is it important to know our spiritual gifts?”  It’s because while we’re here on this earth, we are supposed to be stewarding all we are and all we have, investing what He’s given us back into His Kingdom.

And you have a gift.  If you’re reading this and you don’t know what yours is yet, just know that you have one—something to use, something to give.

JB said, “…the local church is to be full of Christ-followers entrusted with spiritual gifts that they're to use to build each other up.  Look how Peter talked about it in 1 Peter 4: Each has received a gift—so not some within the body, not some Christians get spiritual gifts, please underline and triple underline EACH, not those who decide to do ministry vocationally...not those who go on staff at a church—EACH has been given a gift, use it to serve one another...as good stewards...of God's varied grace.  …it's about our contribution to love and serve others well.”

Here’s some tips from JB on figuring them out:

·       What’s your first reaction when you hear of a need or a problem that needs to be solved?  Whatever your gut reaction is, whether you act on it or not, it’s an indication of your spiritual gift. Do you want to give money?  Do you want to advise, encourage?

·       What do others say about you?  Pay attention to what people are consistently commenting on about you.  Whatever is consistently commented on, that’s an indication of a spiritual gift.

·       Take a test, maybe like this one, and then take the results and ask the five people who know you best for their thoughts.  Others can see us better than we see ourselves.

Just a note, you may never see the fruit of your labor—how you’ve changed somebody’s life—we actually rarely get to see that, but know that by merely being you, you impact people.

Catching Up on the Last Year

I just can’t get over how quickly time goes by.  A month ago, I woke up, drank coffee, shimmied into a white dress and somehow made it down the aisle to my husband.

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  Life has been busy.  Not just because of the wedding.  I think as we get older, we get busier.  I don’t necessarily know why it happens, and don’t want to think about it too much, but it does happen.  Monday disappears into Friday, January in December, and soon we’re kissing another year goodbye.

To recap, if you haven’t heard from me lately or kept up with Facebook, here’s a quick rundown of some important moments over the last year:

First Date; June 22, 2013

Trace and I met for the second time to go on our first date.  Call us hopeless romantics, but our movie of choice was Brad Pitt’s World War Z.  From there we went to Huey’s, a Memphis original, and we’ve been dating ever since.

Engagement; December 24, 2013

I knew early on that this was it—that Trace was the kind of guy I wanted to marry.  I guess he saw something in me, too, because come December 24, 2013, he was down on one knee (for a painful 35 seconds—ask us later).

Wedding Dress Shopping; January 11, 2014

On January 11, 2014, it was an emotional ride for a girl who’s uncomfortable with her body, but at the end of our two hours at Low’s Bridal, me and the girls finally found one!  I walked away with a dress that didn’t look anything like I had planned, but was happy.

Shower #1; May 3, 2014

I experienced my first bridal shower, hosted at the home of my best friend Whitney along with the invaluable help of Kimberly, Lauren, and Lindsay.  I relished feeling so loved.  It was by far one of my favorite days of my life.  Not to mention, my sister Jessica gave me a gift to treasure for the rest of my life—she gave her life to Christ that afternoon.  God took a conglomeration of women and used them for her, and I still tear up thinking about the experience.

First Dress Fitting; May 17, 2014

Finding someone to alter my dress proved to be difficult.  After a frustrating, short search, it was MasterNeedles I chose.  I knew the owner had experience, along with having the best estimate, and she is godly woman.  I’d like to note, at this point, I still wasn’t crazy about my dress—er, me in the dress.  I was still very self-conscious.

 
Engagement Pictures & Shower #2; May 24, 2014

We headed down to Myrtle for engagement pictures.  It was one of the funnest things I’ve ever done, just to have a friend take my camera and take pictures of us.  I’m telling you, if you don’t have the budget just ask a friend to take your camera and snap some shots.  It worked well for us.  Thank you, Lindsay Weaver, for all your hard work!  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you!

The next shower was a couple’s shower hosted by Trace’s aunts that same day.  It was beautiful. Between the food and the decorations and all the love, I was a happy girl.  We were blessed by not only a multitude of beautiful gifts, but by the presence of church family.   My favorite mementos are cards filled with marriage advice. I’m sure that we’ll keep these and reread them over the many years to come.

Second Dress Fitting; May 29, 2014
We didn't take any pictures :(

Marriage License; May 30, 2014

We went back to Myrtle to get our marriage license.  I had so much fun that day!  I remember we stopped and got some delicious coffee and went to the movies to watch Maleficent.

Third Dress Fitting; June 5, 2014
I'm starting to like the dress a little more here...

Shower #3; June 6, 2014

This shower was thrown by my coworkers.  It was awesome and I can’t praise enough all those who put such effort into making it something so beautiful and memorable.  I really needed some sunshine and that’s definitely what they gave me!  From the decorations, to the food, it was amazing and a memory I enjoy so much.

Fourth Dress Fitting; June 9, 2014
And this is when I finally make the move from liking to loving my wedding gown.

Shower #4; June 14, 2014

It’s funny how as many showers as there were, each one was so very different.  I had so much fun at this one.  We went out to celebrate at Bosco’s, one of my favorite Memphis places.  Then came home and my beloved friends showered me with fun gifts.  They did a great job at making me laugh!  One of my favorite memories from this night is the impromptu burn session where the girls called me out on my slowness to reply/never responding to text message or phone calls...I’m soooooooooooorry, y'all!  Thank you for the grace you give me continually!

Baptisms & Rehearsal; June 21, 2014

Savannah, Jess, and me got dunked in the water!  I got to stand in the water with my future husband.  It’s funny how things turn out and how much more special it is when you let God plan it out.  Flash forward to the rehearsal, it was one of my favorite events, because, unlike the wedding, I can actually remember what happened!  I think this was the most relaxed I was the whole weekend.

Getting’ Hitched; June 22, 2014

If ever there was a day that went by too fast, this was it.  Everything is a blur.  I am so thankful for everyone who took pictures, because I didn’t have any time to process anything.  All I know is that my family looked great, I couldn’t stop smiling at the altar, the wind tipped my arbor over, and I needed to say goodbye to my best friends before jumping into the getaway Lexus.  There was something magical that I couldn’t quite capture, having all my loved ones in one place celebrating me and my husband—especially having my California friends there.  I’ll never get to experience that again and it certainly makes me cherish the memory of my wedding day even more. 

It's been a whirlwind of a year!  I hope I never forget all these wonderful things.  I need to remind myself every day how blessed I truly am and not to take it for granted...the friends who love me, all of my family (both immediate and extended!) having been in town for the wedding, and my sweet, sweet husband...I'm just so thankful!

Happy month-iversary!  And to all my friends who were with me at this time last month, I miss ya and I love you!  And I can't wait to see you again!  It's my turn to make a trip to Cali!